Thursday, March 1, 2007

Ejournal 12 October 2006 its not my time

Sometimes, as Sarah and I are approaching the bus stop, a bus pulls up and we are able to step right on. Sometimes, usually on our way home, when it is late and we are tired and hungry, we wait a long time at the bus stop for a bus. Occasionally, I have thought, about the other things I could be doing, rather than standing at the bus stop.

The other day, when Sarah, Sveta, and I arrived at the Orphanage, I was asked if I could drive a couple of children that were sick to the hospital. Really, just to see a doctor, it wasn’t serious or anything. Realizing, that was not my plan, I said of course and really thought to myself, see how flexible I am being. I was a little proud of myself for surrending my plans and trusting that God was using me to help get these sick children to see the doctor.

So, two of the workers, one of whom spoke a little English, two children and I all headed for the hospital, Sarah and Sveta stayed at the orphanage to play with the other kids and have our normal ministry time. When we arrived at the hospital, I parked along the side of the road, again, there really aren’t parking lots in Berdyansk. They all got out and told me to wait with the van, they would be back in about an hour. This I had a little trouble with. What a waste of time, I couldn’t really go anywhere with the van, first of all, I didn’t know when they would be back and second, I didn’t really know exactly where I was – I have been there before, but I don’t think I could find it on my own. I was right next to an open air market, but it was raining and a little cold, so I couldn’t even get out and walk around.

So, I sat and waited. It was kind of cold and really boring sitting alone in the car. I really started talking to God about the situation. Really, I mean, I understood changing my plans, but this seemed like a waste of my time.

God really challenged me about “my” time. How many times have I referred to this year as “my time”in Ukraine or “my year” in Ukraine. God really pointed out to me how ridiculous that is, if this isn’t His time, then really what is the point of me being here. Why do I continue to think I am so important. My purpose was just as valid whether I was waiting in the car or in the waiting room of the hospital. My service was in providing them transportation, I wasn’t going to be any kind of help inside. But, if I had not been available to drive, the children would have either had to wait to see the doctor, or they would have had to walk to a bus stop, take the bus, and then walk from the bus stop to the hospital in the rain. I am sure the ride was a blessing to them, not me. Sometimes, I am just on the edge of what is happening and that is where I am suppose to be.

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